


I give hell my worst and good to this earth

by astuteweasel (whimsicalmeerkat)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: AU - Mermaids, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Hand Job, Happy Ending, Insecure Peter, M/M, Near character death, Peter is a disaster, Peter isn’t Spider-Man but he is a black widow, Wade is Sane, Weasel’s life is hard, but not really because it’s Deadpool, dead boyfriend ossuary, fluff and nonsense, fluff and smut and angst, for an immortal pirate anyway, no beta we die like warriors, thank goodness Peter is pretty, this gets sad but it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:48:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalmeerkat/pseuds/astuteweasel
Summary: “Stop sulking,” MJ ordered, tugging the skull out of Peter’s hands.“He didn’t really love me. None of them ever love me,” Peter said glumly. “Hey,” he protested when MJ tossed the skull further into Peter’s memorial cave. “You’ll get them mixed up.”“Oh whatever, that wasn’t the latest one, that skeleton isn’t even clean yet, and you’re not exactly keeping them separated now.” She looked around at what she had termed Peter’s “creepy trophy cave,” which it wasn’t! Peter really didn’t want a room full of pirate skeletons. He just wanted one pirate boyfriend he could bring home to his caves under the ocean. He just wanted one person to love him as much as he loved them. Preferably a human pirate, with all their muscles and warm skin and… He dodged a femur. “Peter, you know I have no love for humans, but I don’t know who you are trying to fool at this point. You’d known this last one for less than a month.”
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 209





	I give hell my worst and good to this earth

**Author's Note:**

> \- I can't find a link on the Isn’t It Bromantic discord to the prompt for this, but it was basically about Peter wanting a pirate boyfriend, then a friend commented on how sad he would be if he kept drowning them, and here we are. The angst just sort of snuck in.  
> \- Title from "Until the Last Light Fades" by Mandolin Orange  
> \- Not canon compliant in pretty much any sense of the word. Barely adjacent.  
> \- No beta and I'm pretty sure there are typos and the like, but I was only able to get this much done because of a problem with my work laptop.

“Stop sulking,” MJ ordered, tugging the skull out of Peter’s hands.

“He didn’t really love me. None of them ever love me,” Peter said glumly. “Hey,” he protested when MJ tossed the skull further into Peter’s memorial cave. “You’ll get them mixed up.”

“Oh whatever, that wasn’t the latest one, that skeleton isn’t even clean yet, and you’re not exactly keeping them separated now.” She looked around at what she had termed Peter’s “creepy trophy cave,” which it wasn’t! Peter really didn’t want a room full of pirate skeletons. He just wanted one pirate boyfriend he could bring home to his caves under the ocean. He just wanted one person to love him as much as he loved them. Preferably a human pirate, with all their muscles and warm skin and… He dodged a femur. “Peter, you know I have no love for humans, but I don’t know who you are trying to fool at this point. You’d known this last one for less than a month.”

Peter crossed his arms and looked away. “I loved him that quickly. I was able to change.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw MJ draw herself up and give him her most unimpressed look. “Completely change, or only enough to pass out of the water?”

He shifted. “There might have still been some scales,” he muttered. The glare intensified. “And a teensy bit of webbing between my toes.” He looked up when the silence stretched. “I just want someone to love who loves me back,” he said heavily.

“Oh Peter, I know,” MJ said, gliding over to recline next to where he had sprawled back on the haphazard pile of bones. “You won’t find him by trying to hold on to a possibility so hard you ignore reality though. Your mutations made you incredibly powerful even before you were a full century old. You’re capable of making those shifts with your own magic. Don’t be so quick to ignore that.”

Peter nodded glumly. “No more pirates for me,” he said.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” MJ said. “Just stop enticing them to drown themselves,” she snarked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple months later, Peter lounged on a rock, trying to ignore his racing heart as he watched the most beautiful man he had ever seen stagger up from where a wave had washed him, and what looked like a giant bundle of rags, up on the beach. His skin was covered in marks and scars, and they were changing constantly. Peter couldn’t tell where the magic ended and the mutation began, but it was mesmerizing even before you got to the muscles…

“Hey, wake up,” the man said, shaking the rags. They groaned and shifted, turning out to be a scrawny man.

The man slapped ineffectually at the hands touching them, then shrieked, covering his eyes.”Oh my god, Wade, why are you naked, why couldn’t I have just died without seeing your shriveled up dead avocado junk this is the worst thing that could ever happen to  _ ack! _ ”

“I’m the worst thing you’ll ever meet if you keep talking to him like that,” Peter hissed, shoving the man back to the sand, keeping him away from the pretty one, and, OK, so he didn’t really remember actually deciding to intervene, but some sort of deep buried nobility must have snuck in. “You just wanted to get near the shiny human with the muscles,” a voice that sounded suspiciously like MJ said in his head, but he ignored her.

“Oh my god, you’re the prettiest mer I’ve ever seen! Look at your tail!” Peter was pretty sure the scarred man’s voice wasn’t supposed to go that high. “I love the black lines over the red and blue like spider webs, you’re a spider-mer! Spidey-mer?” Peter turned to see the man staring avidly at his tail and  _ not _ just the tip. The man’s gaze raked up and over him, making Peter suddenly glad his kind didn’t blush. He wasn’t prepared for the man to gasp and press his hands to his cheeks. “Your eyes! How is this fair, you’re the prettiest mer and you have the prettiest tail and your fucking hair, and I’m...me…” He trailed off, leaving the two of them staring at each other.

Peter felt movement behind him. Annoyed, he used his tail to pin the legs of the insulting one. “Oh come on, what did I do,” the man whined. “I’m sure I would think your tail was pretty too if you weren’t trying to crush me with it.” Peter stopped holding up his tail entirely. “Fuuuuuuck….” the man wheezed.

Peter ignored him, focusing on the other man, Wade he had called him. He had brilliant blue eyes, and he looked puzzled. “Not that I’m not grateful for the rescue, but what  _ did _ Weasel do? He wasn’t trying to hurt me.”

“The inferior one insulted you,” Peter said, realizing as it left his mouth that it wasn’t really enough of a reason.

“I...see. I had no idea mer culture was so formal,” Wade said. Peter just nodded. The MJ in his head was joined by Gwen, and she’d brought snacks. “Thank you for coming to my rescue,” he said so solemnly that Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “My name is Wade Wilson,” he said with a bow.

“Peter Parker,” Peter said back, bowing in return.

“The, uh...inferior one is Weasel,” Wade said, lips twitching. “He’d probably like to get up,” he said. Yeah, Peter was definitely being mocked, and it was all this Weasel’s fault. A more level-headed mer would have just moved to the side and let the other man up, but Peter stopped pretending to be mature about 50 years ago, so he dug his tail in and sent Weasel rolling down the sand. Wade gaped, then laughed so hard he had to bend over to get a breath.

Promptly forgetting Weasel, Peter moved across the sand towards Wade until he was close enough to touch him. When he reached out to do that, the other man flinched. “I want to be sure nothing is broken,” Peter said quietly.

Wade shrugged. “Anything that was is healed by now, no need for you to dirty your pretty mer hands on this mess.”

Peter tilted his head to the side, puzzled. “Mess?” He ran his eyes avidly over Wade’s skin (so much skin…) trying to see what the other man meant. “You are self-conscious, and the inferior one mocked your skin. I had wondered if the scars hurt, but you are ashamed of them.” He raised his eyes to meet wary blue ones. “You don’t see how beautiful they are.”

If he thought Wade had gaped before, the man was truly speechless now. Eventually, he rallied somewhat. “You might be the prettiest mer, Spidey, but you’re definitely the strangest one too. If you’re trying to build up to lure me to a watery grave, sign me up right away, no further convincing necessary,” he said with a rather forced leer.

“I, uh, no, no watery graves,” Peter choked. “Why would, I mean, I don’t know what you’ve heard, I mean, I would definitely not, oh I think I hear a...thing. Yes, a thing. Calling me. From the water. That I can hear. I have to go now, byeeeee,” he called back over his shoulder as he raced away and dove beneath the waves. He wasn’t going to do this. He’d sworn off looking for love like that and he definitely wasn’t going to take advantage of a stunningly beautiful man with poor self esteem and the most ridiculous jaw and biceps he’d ever seen. He’d turned over a new leaf. Besides, he didn’t think he could stand to know Wade wasn’t part of the world anymore. He just wasn’t going to think about what it meant that he hadn’t felt that way about anyone in at least 70 years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi Wade,” Peter said, trying to play it cool. “Another shipwreck?” Oh my god, that very obvious statement was the opposite of cool, get it together, Parker. There was no other reason he would be on the beach. 

“Yeah,” Wade said, hauling Weasel out of the water. “The, uh, sandbar shifted,” he said. 

“Huh. I hadn’t noticed,” Peter said. He scowled at Weasel, who was coughing loudly.

“Why do you bring your servant on these voyages,” Peter asked Wade, still scowling, not glaring, MJ, at Weasel. 

Wade laughed. “He’s not my servant. He’s my friend,” he said. “Besides, I can’t die.”

That was...alarming. As a mer, Peter was pretty much immortal unless something killed him, but he was pretty sure humans were mortal, and fragile to boot. “Did you hit your head,” he asked, moving across the sand fast enough that Wade jumped. 

“Uh, no,?” He jumped again when Peter reached out to examine it. Peter couldn’t find any injuries, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something internal. He reached out and took Wade’s head in his hand. “Um, Petey, what are you doing,” Wade asked hesitantly. 

“Examining you,” Peter said, letting a trickle of his power out to examine the other man.

Wade moaned quietly, then turned bright red. “That’s quite a feeling” he said quietly, sounding stunned. 

Peter released him. “I can’t find anything,” he said. 

“That’s because anything there was healed,” Wade replied with a shrug. 

“Will you two stop with the weird foreplay, and just go fuck or something,” Weasel snapped. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter muttered absently, suddenly realizing how close he was to Wade. 

“It could be though. Foreplay, I mean. I wouldn’t mind,” Wade said quietly.

“Wouldn’t mind,” Peter asked archly. 

Wade closed the remaining gap between them. “I mean to say, I really want it to be,” he breathed, then fitted his lips to Peter’s. 

Peter gasped at the feeling of the other man’s lips on his. He had a brief impression of soft, firm lips, before Wade took advantage of his gasp and licked into his mouth. Peter moaned when their tongues tangled. He had grasped Wade’s biceps by instinct when he first kissed him, but now he slid one hand to the back of Wade’s neck, and twisted his hand in his shirt with the other.

Wade gripped Peter’s hips, aligning his with Peter’s, and rolling them. Peter could feel the other man was hard against him, and gods he wanted. He was going to be careful though, so that narrowed down their options. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Come on, guys, I didn’t really mean it,” Weasel whined behind them.

“Go away before I make you,” Peter snapped, turning his head to glare, allowing his face to sharpen towards his natural form and fangs peak out.

“Fucking hell, you’re weird,” the annoyance complained, but headed for the trees. “You can put away your fangs and your murder face.”

Peter glared until he disappeared, then turned back to Wade to find him avidly watching Peter’s mouth. “That was so hot,” he breathed, hands flexing on Peter’s hips. “I want to lick them. Can I lick them?”

Peter gaped at him. Did he know what that meant? How intimate that would be? “Can you...uh, no, or at least, not today, um,” he stammered. It was just...humans were always scared of him when he let his face shift. Wade’s reaction was baffling, and deeply arousing. “I’m still not convinced you don’t have a head injury,” he said, crowding the confusing man against a convenient tree. “I don’t really care right now though,” he said, sucking kisses down the jaw he’d wanted to bite since he first saw it.

Wade gasped, throwing his head back. “I don’t know how this is supposed to work, but I need more. I need to feel more of you.” He ground himself against Peter.

Peter couldn’t help but kiss him for that. He tore at Wade’s laces, cursing how they were tangled from the water, before finally wrapping his hand around his hot, hard cock. It was leaking pre-come, slicking his grip. Wade moaned against his mouth, then buried his face in Peter’s neck. “Peter, fuck…” he said, voice muffled and raspy, hips hitching desperately into Peter’s hand.

Peter pumped his hand, whispering praise and words of desire against Wade’s temple. Wade’s dick felt perfect in his hand as he worked him. Wade was shaking, hips thrusting, breath ragged “Come for me,” Peter whispered, and sunk his teeth in his earlobe.

Wade did, shaking apart in Peter’s arms. He was the most beautiful thing Peter had ever seen in his more than century of life. All he could do was hold Wade as he slumped bonelessly against him, feeling his scars against his chest and under his hands. Eventually, Wade roused himself, leaning back to look Peter in the face. “I want, I mean, can I…”he started, then looked down. “I mean, how…?”

Peter wanted to laugh at how confused Wade looked. “It’s fine,” he said. “I just wanted to make you feel good.”

“Well, you definitely did that,” Wade said. “I want to do the same for you. I had heard some mers could shift into human,” he said, and oh gods was Peter tempted. Too tempted.

He pulled back from Wade so fast the other man nearly fell. “I don’t do that anymore. I can’t, I mean..I can’t do that to you.” He was vaguely aware he was wringing his hands, and he had no idea what expression was on his face. “I have to go,” he blurted, and fled to the water, forcing himself not to listen to Wade calling for him to come back, to wait, to not leave. He couldn’t let himself. He wanted too much. Way too much, too fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Back from seeing your pirate?” MJ’s voice came out of the darkness, making Peter jump, but definitely not shriek like a small child.

“What are you doing sitting in the dark,” Peter asked when he got his breath back. “That’s weird, MJ.” He cast the spell that lit the phosphorescent lights through his caves.

“You know what is really weird,” MJ said, leaning back on some pillows. “Six shipwrecks with no signs of a ship, and only two survivors, and the same two at that.”

“I know it seems weird, but clearly it’s possible, MJ. It’s happening. Poseidon must smile on Wade,” Peter said patiently, having grown accustomed to this argument.

MJ stared. “You can’t be this dumb. Gwen, tell me he’s not this dumb.”

Gwen slid around Peter. He hadn’t heard her come in, but his wards had been keyed to allow her in for years. “I think he is,” she said. “It’s really very sad,” she said, mostly sounding amused.

“Well, if you two are so smart, what do you think is happening,” Peter said, arms crossed defiantly.

MJ & Gwen rolled their eyes in perfect sync. It was honestly pretty creepy. “Peter, Wade is obviously inventing shipwrecks to spend more time with you,” Gwen said with an offensive degree of patience.

Peter shook his head. “No, there’s some other explanation for all of them. I mean, why would he do that?”

MJ snorted. “Peter, what did he say about there being no sign of the ship this time.”

“They got caught up in the currents and swept around the island,” Peter said promptly.

“Thank Poseidon you two can’t reproduce,” MJ muttered, which was frankly insulting.

“Peter, that cove is on a giant fucking continent,” Gwen said, still with the condescending patience, but the fact that she was wheezing when she took a break from laughing pretty much ruined that effort.

“Why would he do that,” Peter asked. “Why would he pretend to be shipwrecked?” He was trying so hard to not just see what he wanted in Wade’s actions.

MJ sat up. “Peter, he loves you. It is painfully obvious that he loves you.” Peter was shaking his head, but she kept going. “You know I’m right, Peter. I know you love him too.”

“Of course I do,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean he loves me.”

Gwen was shaking her head. “Peter, no one goes to these lengths to see someone without love. I think you know that too.”

“But what if he doesn’t,” Peter whispered. “What if he drowns like everyone else, or worse, what if he doesn’t, but it’s only because of his mutation?” He looked up, letting his fear show.

“Oh Peter,” Gwen said gently. “You run the risk of losing him by not doing something to be with him that he clearly knows you can do.” MJ nodded in agreement. “You have to tell him why you are scared though. He needs to know about the others.”

Peter jerked back. “I can’t tell him that! He’ll think I’m a monster.”

“Maybe don’t give him numbers to start with,” MJ said. “He needs to know that you’re scared because you spent so long looking for love you let people die because you were so desperate for someone to love you back.” Her voice was stern, but her eyes were gentle.

“She’s right,” Gwen said. “Just, maybee don’t lead with the extent of the trophy room.”

“It’s a memorial, not a trophy room,” Peter protested, throwing a pillow at her smirking face.

“Keep telling yourself that,” MJ said, catching the pillow and placing it behind her head. “Just...maybe don’t tell Wade yet.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baby boy,” Wade yelled from the beach as soon as Peter surfaced.

“I’m like three times your age,” Peter protested, but let Wade draw him in for a kiss.

“You’re just so small and pretty,” Wade cried dramatically, pulling Peter against his chest. “So precious and sweet.”

“I’ll have you know I have sent my lovers to their deaths, and some of their sons too,” Peter said crankily, then froze when Weasel choked behind him and he realized what he just said. “I mean...sailors. Random sailors. I…” He trailed off when Wade put a finger on his lips.

“Shh, baby boy. It’s OK. You don’t have to hide from me,” he said gently.

“You say that, but he probably has a chest of skulls or something,“ Weasel said, making Peter flinch.

“Go away, Weasel,” Wade said, steel in his voice, even as he pulled Peter in closer. “Now. Don’t come back. I’ll find you.”

“Fine,” Weasel said, stomping down the beach, or at least as much as one could stomp on sand. “Don’t come crying to me when he eats you.”

“I don’t eat people,” Peter said into Wade’s shoulder where he had tucked his face.

“I know, sweetheart, but I also know you aren’t innocent, and I know it has something to do with why you won’t shift with me,” Wade said, voice completely free of judgment. “Will you tell me?”

Peter shuddered at the compassion and feel of Wade’s breath against his temple. “I’ll tell you, but I don’t think I can look at you. I can’t see the way you look at me change,” he whispered.

“That won’t happen,” Wade promised, “but we can sit so you are comfortable,” he continued, sitting against a tree, arranging Peter between his legs and pulling him back against his chest. “Whenever you’re ready.”

So, Peter told him. He told him about the pain of his first lovers more than 80 years ago. He told him about the ones he knew didn’t really love him. The ones he knew would drown, but he did the spell anyway. He talked until he got to meeting Wade, then he fell silent.

Wade pulled Peter more firmly against his chest. “How many,” he asked, something in his voice Peter couldn’t define.

“I don’t know,” Peter whispered, sure this would be the thing that caused Wade to pull back in disgust.

Instead, one of Wade’s hands wandered up Peter’s chest, rubbing his fingers over Peter’s nipple. “You can tell me, baby boy,” he said, leaning forward and lightly biting the tendon in Peter’s neck.

“I am telling you,” Peter said absently, arching into the touch. “I really don’t know.”

Wade groaned against his shoulder. “Do you have any idea how hot that is? How it feels to know that you’ve done that to so many men, but you won’t even shift yourself with me because you don’t want to risk this?”

Peter moved restlessly. “This is not how I imagined this conversation going.” He could feel Wade hard against his back. He knew what he wanted to do, but wasn’t sure he had the courage.

“Come on, Peter,” Wade said, biting down on Peter’s jaw. “Let me see this form too. Let me touch you, feel you.”

Peter shivered at the feel of Wade’s breath against the sensitive skin of his neck. He bowed his head and quietly spoke the spell that would give him human form. There were no scales or webbing this time. He had known there wouldn’t be, that the spell would work perfectly with Wade.

Wade took a sharp breath and tightened his arms across Peter’s chest and belly. “You’re beautiful,” he said, voice gone low and raspy. “I knew you would be, but I still wasn’t prepared.” His hands wandered all over Peter’s torso, explored his hips and his thighs, going everywhere except where Peter actually wanted them.

“Please touch me,” Peter said, arching to try to get some contact on his dick. It was a long time since it had been this hard.

Wade laughed darkly. “I am touching you,” he said, continuing his teasing strokes down Peter’s sides.

Peter twisted until he was straddling the other man. He wasn’t in this form often, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know how to use it. “You seem confused, so I can give you a demonstration,” he said, leaning back on Wade’s thighs and wrapping his hand around his own cock. He was already leaking pre-come from Wade’s teasing, and the anticipation of more. He groaned and fucked up into his fist, almost involuntarily, head thrown back. He hadn’t realized how aroused he was.

“Oh, so you think you can tease now,” Wade said roughly. “Two can play at that game, baby boy.” He moved fast as smoke, and somehow Peter was on his back, hands held over his head by his wrists. Peter was shocked. It wasn’t easy to surprise him, let alone move him without his cooperation.

He ceased to care when Wade dropped his weight, crowding him everywhere. He pushed up, looking for friction. Wade pulled back and began kissing and biting his way down Peter’s chest, one hand clamped down on Peter’s hips to keep him from arching up like he wanted, wrists still held over his head. “Do you think you can keep your hands there if I let them go?”

Peter choked out a “yes,” shocked by how rough and desperate his voice was already. He knew sex with Wade in his human form would be intense, but he had never imagined it being like this, being this good. He had never liked being vulnerable, but right now he couldn’t imagine wanting to be anything else. He gripped one wrist with the other hand, and waited to see what Wade would do next.

“Good boy,” Wade said into his chest, then bit down on his nipple. Peter bowed his chest up and yelled, glad he was already holding his wrist. He wasn’t sure if he would have held Wade’s head closer or pushed it away. All he knew was he was losing himself in sensation, and he couldn’t be bothered by things like control or not seeming desperate. Because he was. Desperate. By the time Wade took his cock in his mouth, he was twisting and gasping, dead certain there were bruises on his wrist.

He gasped and bucked when Wade circled a slick finger around the rim of his hole, and started to slip it inside. Wade choked a little, then pulled off of Peter’s cock. “No! Please, please don’t stop,” Peter babbled.

“Shh, sweetheart,” Wade soothed, a second finger joining the first. Peter didn’t know where the oil had come from, and he didn’t really care. Wade leaned down. “You can move your hands,” he said against Peter’s lips before bringing them together in a soul-searing, breath-stealing kiss. Peter was already gasping when Wade crooked his fingers and found  _ that _ spot inside him. He lost his breath and ability to do anything but feel.

He was exquisitely sensitive by the time Wade started pushing into him, feeling every inch of his scarred cock as it entered him. He was gripping Wade’s shoulder and ass, but to keep Wade close and to tether himself to some version of reality.

When Wade was fully inside him, hips pressed against his ass, he dropped his forehead to rest against Peter’s. “The way you feel, Peter. I could stay like this forever,” he said, voice wrecked and almost unintelligible.

“Yes, yes, I love you too,” Peter said, arching into him, “but could you please move?”

Wade laughed and buried his face in Peter’s hair. “So spoiled,” he laughed, but he pulled his hips back and snapped them forward, so Peter didn’t bother to protest the accusation.

Peter had thought it was intense when Wade had taken him in his mouth, but he still wasn’t prepared for how thoroughly Wade was taking him apart. Far sooner than expected, he was spilling across their bellies, teeth buried in Wade’s shoulder. The other man thrust a few more times, then came inside Peter with a shout.

He collapsed on top of Peter. “I’m heavy. I should move,” he muttered into Peter’s hair.

“I like it, Peter said, arranging their limbs more comfortably. He held Wade against his chest, legs tangled while they regained their breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m sorry about your shoulder,” Peter eventually offered.

Wade snorted, then pulled back to look at him. “No, you’re not,” he said wryly.

“No, I’m not,” Peter agreed cheekily, leaning in to see how bad the bruise was, a little worried, by which he meant completely certain, he had broken the skin. When he found only Wade’s normal scars, he sat up abruptly, dislodging Wade so he landed on his ass on the ground. Ignoring Wade’s protests, Peter got on his knees so he could get a closer look. “Your shoulder…” He trailed off and just stared at Wade.

Wade shrugged. “Something that small healed almost immediately.” He looked up and saw a suddenly pale Peter staring at him. “Hey, are you OK?”

Peter looked from his shoulder to his face. “So, when you said you can’t die, you know that from experience.” Wade was not used to anyone looking at him with that blend of surprise, compassion, and was that hope?

Wade realized quickly where Peter’s mind had gone. “Peter,” he said gently. “I love you with all I am, but even if that somehow wasn’t enough for the spell, I would still survive.” He bowed his head, then looked back up. “I want everything with you, Peter, but I will take what you can give, when you can give it.”

He sat patiently while Peter stared at his hands. He wished he knew what he was thinking, but he knew Peter had to work through this on his own. When he raised his head, Peter caught his breath at all the emotions in his eyes: love, fear, hope, resignation, and determination all warred to come out on top.

Even before he opened his mouth, Wade knew his decision. Peter took a deep breath. “I want,” he started, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and started again. “I have to know. Better I know now when I might get out of this with my soul intact if it...goes wrong.” Wade could easily fill in that gap. If Wade died. If Wade didn’t love him enough to survive. He reached out to caress Peter’s cheek, but Peter caught his hand, and pressed a kiss to his palm.

Peter rose gracefully, offering Wade a hand up. “Will now work?” His voice sounded almost dispassionate, but Wade could see how hard he was shaking. He tried to reach out again, but again, Peter pulled back. “I can’t,” he said desperately.

Wade pulled back and nodded. He was certain the spell would work. Not because he couldn’t die, because he loved Peter. He also knew Peter was scared. For all the death that came later, it was clear he had truly loved some of those men, especially in the beginning when he was young. Wade was pretty sure pain, not an innate callousness had led to the eventual carelessness. “What do I need to do,” he asked.

“I’ll speak the spell, then hold you under until...until you change forms.” He looked at Wade, brown eyes huge in the moonlight. “It...it would be easier if you struggled as little as possible,” he said, voice devoid of hope.

Wade wanted so badly to find all of the bastards in the various hells who told Peter they loved him, when what they really wanted was immortality. He wanted to bring them back to life so he could torture them in ways demons would never care enough to. He wanted to hold Peter until he knew just how much he loved him, but he couldn’t do any of that. All he could do was get through this so he could hold Peter again.

He followed Peter out into the ocean until he was treading water. When Peter reached for Wade’s shoulders, his face was streaked with tears. Wade stilled himself as Peter spoke the spell, then relaxed as much as possible when Peter pushed him down, holding him under with the strength of a mer, the strength that proved he was something other than human.

Wade convulsed as pain went through him. It felt like he was being seared from the inside out. His brain screamed at him to struggle, but he was in too much pain.

The pain stopped as suddenly as it started. It took a moment for Wade to clear his mind enough to convince his body he hadn’t died. The fact that he could breathe underwater was a major clue. The tail was a bigger one. The first thought on his mind was getting to Peter.

This proved easier than expected. Apparently the ritual came with a soulbond. The overwhelming waves of sorrow and grief from Peter told Wade he hadn’t noticed yet.

Peter didn’t even notice him approach. He didn’t register it when Wade grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his face. He didn’t react to anything until Wade took his face in his hands. Even then, it took a moment before hope finally started to break through the overwhelming sorrow. He nearly strangled Wade trying to get closer.

When they pulled apart, Peter looked and felt uncertain. “What’s wrong, baby,” Wade asked, running his thumbs over Peter’s cheeks.

Peter bit his lip. “What if it wasn’t the ritual. I’ll never know if... _ why are you laughing at me?! _ He was so adorable all riled up, and Wade should probably feel bad laughing at him after what he just went through, but honestly.

Wade settled for wrapping his brand new tail around what would be Peter’s ass if he was in human form, and pulling him in against his body. “Does that answer your question?”

“Does what... _ oh!”  _ Wade tried to make a mental note of exactly what he had just done, because it felt like Peter was blushing.

“There’s also the soulbond,” Wade said, leaning in to kiss Peter again. When they pulled apart this time, it wasn’t very far, and reluctantly. “Take me home,” Wade whispered in Peter’s ear. Peter took his hand, and led him deeper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wade was exploring the caves while Peter was contemplating dinner, when he felt a wave of pure amusement from Wade. They’d gotten more accustomed to the bond over the past week, so he could tell Wade wanted him to feel this.

He swam in the direction the bond was pulling him, cursing when he realized exactly what Wade had found. He swam into the room of bones, stopping when he saw Wade turning around slowly, taking in the room.

“Baby boy, I think you might have undersold your murderous ways,” he exclaimed, clearly delighted.

“Well, I mean, I am quite a bit older than you, and...hi,” Peter said, stuttering to a halt when Wade came to a stop in front of him. Articulate he was not.

“Weasel theorized you had a chest full of skills,” Wade said leadingly.

“I do not have a chest full of skulls,” Peter said solemnly.

Wade laughed. “No, you have a goddamned dead boyfriend ossuary. You know what we’re going to do with it,” he asked, turning predatory.

“No,” Peter said, letting Wade pull him in with an arm around his waist. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to fuck in here,” Wade said, “and then we’re going to hire someone to haul away all two hundred odd skeletons of your exes.”

“Because you’re jealous,” Peter said, snuggling closer.

“Because it’s creepy,” Wade protested.

Peter just raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “And also I’m jealous. You have a literal trophy room of people who touched me before you,” Wade pouted.

“You’re the last one who ever will,” Peter said, and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Well, possibly except for that angsty part. It just sort of happened and I nearly made myself cry. Sorry not sorry!


End file.
